Today is the 100th day of the school year for my daughter. As such, a litany of events popped up on my calendar for the week. Normally I am pretty on the ball with these things but the 100 days tasks snuck up on me. First, she needed to bring in a ziploc bag that had 100 “things” in it. They were going to count, measure, and weigh their “things” as part of a lesson. Monday morning, in a panic, I ran around the house and was able to scrounge up 100 dimes. Bam.
Today was 100 things on a t-shirt day. I planned for this last week. I ordered a new (and cute) pink t-shirt and a bag full of large googly eyes from Amazon. The plan was to glue to eyes on the shirt and she would be good to go. Last night I borrowed a hot glue gun from a friend and sat down to glue all 100 googly eyes on to the shirt. It took about an hour to complete but I thought it looked pretty good. I laid it down to dry overnight and went to bed.
Cut to this morning.
After dressing the rest of my child I went to put her 100 days shirt on (carefully I might add). Pop. Pop. PopPopPop. Almost ALL of the googly eyes popped right off. I won’t repeat the word that I was saying in my mind (being Lent and all) but I can tell you it was not a kind or gracious word. My daughter was holding up pretty well. She is a trooper in ways I did not know were possible for a 6 year old. I could tell she was sad but her face was stoic. I did the only thing I could do at this point. I threw all of our stuff in the car and headed to the store.
Our first stop was 7-Eleven. I ran in and fortunately they had 2 tubes of Krazy Glue. We went back to the car and I began super gluing the eyes to the shirt. I made it through about 10 of them before I noticed something… they were not sticking to the t-shirt!!! How is that possible? Super glue? Everything sticks to super glue. In a panic we jumped back in the car and tore off in the direction of Wal-Mart.
I knew just what I needed. Gorilla Glue. I have never met an object that I could not fix, patch, or put back together with Gorilla Glue. I started gluing googly eyes to the shirt like a mad-man. I probably did look crazy standing in the parking lot of the Wal-Mart at 7am gluing fake eyes on a pink shirt. Whatever. The eyes seemed to be sticking. I finished the shirt then set a box on top of it to apply pressure for the 20 minute drive to school. I was feeling better but still apprehensive that it would work.
When we arrived at school I hopped out and started getting everything ready. Fifi was late so I was going to have to walk her in anyway. I pulled back the box from atop the t-shirt and my heart just sank. Googly eyes had slipped out of place. They were loose. Worst of all the glue was still wet and saturated through the shirt. There was no way I could put it on my daughter. I broke the bad news to her and she just lost it. I felt like the worst dad in the world. I did my best to talk her through it and we glued the loose eyes back on and carried the shirt into school so she could at least show her classmates and teacher.
I gave her a kiss at the classroom door and headed back to the parking lot. As I was driving away I was overcome with sorrow. I broke down crying. I never asked to be a single dad. I didn’t want to lose my wife of 6 years. My daughter certainly didn’t deserve to become motherless at age 4. We still need her. She would have had this whole thing done weeks ago. It would have been perfect. I, on the other-hand, completely screwed it up and broke my daughters heart. Dad fail.
Truth be told I was angry at God this morning. Angry that He allows young mothers and wives and children to die before their time. Angry that my daughter doesn’t have a mother who would not have failed her this morning. I know God has a plan. I know I am not always capable of seeing it. I know that in my heart. Today, though, I had a hard time seeing that with any clarity. The only thing I could see was my daughter hurting and that is the worst feeling in the world for me. Pax vobiscum.